The Pet Sitter Who Puts Herself Last

When Caring for Everyone Else Becomes Second Nature - and you Forget that you Need Care Too

A few days ago, I found myself sitting quietly at home, watching my dog sleep.

He wasn’t feeling quite himself, so naturally, my attention went straight to him.

Was he comfortable?

Was he drinking water?

Was he resting?

Did he need me?

Those thoughts came almost automatically.

And as I sat there watching him, I realised something.

This is what I do all day.

I care.

I care for my own pets.

I care for my clients’ pets.

I care about my business.

I care about my home.

I care about getting things right.

And somewhere in the middle of all that caring, it’s very easy to put yourself at the bottom of the list.

The Person Everyone Can Rely On

I’ve always been someone who likes to take care of things.

If something needs doing, I’ll do it.

If something goes wrong, I’ll try to find a solution.

If someone needs my help, my instinct is often to help.

And pet sitting naturally fits that part of my personality.

My clients trust me with their pets, and I take that responsibility seriously.

I want them to know that when their pet is in my care, I’m paying attention.

I’m noticing the little things.

I’m thinking ahead.

I’m making sure their needs are met.

That’s one of the things I love about my work.

But there’s a downside to being someone who is naturally dependable.

You can become very good at putting your own needs aside.

There’s Always Something That Needs Doing

Running an independent pet-sitting business means there is rarely a completely empty list.

There are appointments to attend.

Messages to answer.

Schedules to organise.

Payments to keep track of.

Clients to communicate with.

Supplies to buy.

And there’s everything outside of the business.

The house still needs cleaning.

The shopping still needs doing,

The laundry doesn’t care whether I’ve had a busy week.

My own pets still need their food, walks, attention, cuddles.

And life doesn’t pause simply because I’m tired.

There is always something that could be done.

So it’s incredibly easy to think:

‘I’ll rest when I’ve finished everything.’

The problem is that everything is never finished.

The Caring Person Can Become Invisible

I think this is something many people, particularly women, can recognise.

We’re often encouraged to be helpful.

To be reliable.

To look after people.

To make sure everyone else is okay.

And there is something incredibly rewarding about being that person.

But sometimes the person doing all the caring becomes the person nobody thinks to check on.

And sometimes that person doesn’t even check on themselves.

You can spend the entire day asking:

‘What does everyone else need?’

without ever stopping to ask:

‘What do I need?’

Being Tired Doesn’t Mean You’re Failing

I’ve had days when I’ve felt frustrated with myself because I wasn’t as productive as I’d planned.

Maybe I didn’t finish the blog post.

Maybe there wasn’t another business task I was able to complete.

Maybe the house wasn’t quite as organised as I’d like.

Maybe I simply felt exhausted.

And that little voice can appear:

‘You should be doing more'.’

But sometimes you’re not failing.

You’re tired.

There is a difference.

When you’re constantly giving your energy to other people, animals, work, and responsibilities, eventually your body and mind are going to ask for some of that energy back.

That’s not weakness.

That’s being human.

Rest Isn’t Something you Have to Earn

I think this is something I’m still learning.

Rest doesn’t have to be a reward for completing every task on my list.

I don’t have to finish the housework, complete every business project, and organise everything before I’m allowed to sit down.

Sometimes the most productive thing I can do is stop.

Sit quietly.

Have a drink.

Close my eyes for a few minutes.

Take a shower without rushing.

Watch my dog sleep.

Or simply do absolutely nothing for a little while.

And that’s okay.

This Day Was a Reminder

A few days ago, my dog wasn’t feeling quite right.

Fortunately, I was home for most of the day, so I could keep an eye on him.

He rested.

I monitored him.

I made sure he had what he needed.

And while I was doing that, I realised how quickly my attention had moved towards caring for someone else.

That’s my instinct.

Something needs care - I provide the care.

It’s almost automatic.

But that day also reminded me that while I’m watching over everyone else, I need to remember that I’m part of the equation too.

I can’t simply keep giving without occasionally stopping to recharge.

You Don’t Have To Put Yourself First

Interestingly, I don’t think the answer is necessarily to suddenly start putting yourself first all the time.

That wouldn’t feel natural to me.

And I don’t think caring about other people or animals is something we should feel guilty about.

I like being someone who cares.

I like being dependable.

I like knowing that my clients can trust me.

I like looking after my pets.

Those aren’t things I want to change.

What I do want to change is the idea that my needs always have to come last.

Learning to Leave Some Space for Yourself

That might mean saying no to a booking when I’m already stretched.

It might mean taking a proper break instead of filling every spare hour with another task.

I might mean recognising that I’m tired before I reach the point of exhaustion.

It might mean letting something in the house wait until tomorrow.

It might mean spending an afternoon working on my own projects because they matter to me too.

And sometimes, it might simple mean sitting quietly with a cup of tea or coffee and letting my brain switch off.

None of those things make me less caring.

They make the caring sustainable.

The Person Behind The Pet Sitter

When clients see a pet sitter, they see the person arriving at their door.

They see someone who takes their dog for a walk.

Someone who feeds their cat.

Someone who remembers their pet’s little quirks.

But behind that person is another person with their own life.

Their own pets.

Their own responsibilities.

Their own worries.

Their own tired days.

Their own dreams.

And sometimes, their own need to simply stop for a moment.

Being a pet sitter doesn’t make me immune to any of that.

If anything, caring for animals all day has made me more aware of how important it is to notice when someone - including myself - needs a little extra care.

I Can Care Without Carrying Everything

That’s probably the lesson I’m taking away from this.

I don’t want to become less caring.

I don’t want to stop being dependable.

I don’t want to care less about my clients or their pets.

But I also don’t want to believe that being a good person means constantly stretching myself until there’s nothing left.

There will always be another appointment.

Another work related message.

Another load of washing.

Another business task.

Another thing that needs fixing.

So I need to make room for myself before the list is finished.

Because the list will never be finished.

Perhaps That’s The Real Lesson

I think people who naturally take care of others can sometimes forget something very simple:

You are someone worth taking care of too.

Not because you’ve completed everything.

Not because you’ve earned it.

Not because everyone else is finally okay.

Just because you’re you.

I’m still learning this.

I’ll probably always have days when I automatically put everyone else first.

But perhaps the goal isn’t to completely change who I am.

Perhaps it’s simply to pause occasionally and ask:

‘What do I need today?’

And sometimes the answer might be something important.

Sometimes is might be practical.

And sometimes it might simply be:

‘I need to sit down for a while.’

And that’s enough.

Because I don’t have to put myself first.

I just don’t want to keep putting myself last.